mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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