Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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