The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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