Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
