its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
