It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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