Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
