she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
