he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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