Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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