you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
