Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
