In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You're so nebulous sometimes
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
two words: eviction party
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
