why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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