Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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