Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
