I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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