yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need moral support for this bender
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
