He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Where is the hickey?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize