You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
