Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
