Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
