trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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