Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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