We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
