i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
