what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
