he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
