turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
