Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
