the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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