Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
