i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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