there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
