I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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