Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
