Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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