Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize