Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
