just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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