"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
