you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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