before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
