he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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