Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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