I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
