Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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