Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
