I am in a vortex of obligation.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
