WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
