so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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