Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
