I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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