Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
