We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
