unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
