it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
