Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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