she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
