Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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