Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
is this the sara with the beer cane?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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