new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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