I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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