You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
