Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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